In Medias Race

After making a number of 2022 goals and pronouncements, I experienced an almost immediate setback. Our household had managed, up to this point, to avoid getting COVID-19. However, last week, a member of my family tested positive, and we had to quarantine. I don’t know if I caught the virus, but I did not feel well most of the week. This may have psychosomatic, because even without a family member being ill, it was one of the more taxing weeks personally and professionally I have had in a while. Everyone has been home all week as I try to adjust to a new work routine. Balancing two jobs plus teaching was always going to be a challenge, but I underestimated the challenge with pandemics and sick kids thrown into the mix. My anxiety and depression have also come back in full force. I am sure it is a byproduct of stress. Getting anything accomplished when all you want to do is hide under the covers is a marathon all its own.

While I am excited to begin the next marathon challenge, my motivation has been difficult to find. I know if I can get into a regular routine again, it will help. It is just hard to get up 5:00 a.m. when it is below freezing outside and you are already depressed. However, one of the myriad of things I have learned through this process is if I wait for motivation, I will sitting alone for a long time. Running, writing, work, really any endeavor worth doing sometimes requires something beyond motivation. The real triumph is showing up even when you lack motivation. In all honestly, I don’t feel that motivated to finish this blog post, but I know I need to. It may not be my best post. My runs lately may not be my best times, but they are done. I showed up and that just has to be enough.