In Medias Race

This past week, I have had vivid dreams almost every night. The more memorable dreams have prominently featured an unexpected animal. In one dream, peacocks were wandering around my backyard like proud Secret Service agents, with colorful uniforms, protecting me and my home. Two nights later, a sassy, talkative mongoose joined me, and we solved mysteries together. The next night, I dreamt that everywhere I went, alligators were floating or resting nearby. Being surrounded by alligators was a little alarming, but they seemed benign enough, for alligators. The peacocks make sense. I would love to have a peacock and peahen assume residence on my property. They could strut around my backyard being gorgeous and aloof. But mongooses and alligators? have always considered myself more of a dog person, but I guess mongooses can be cute, right? Some dreams reveal insights about our experience in the waking world, but other dreams are just our brains recalling and reorganizing all of the images we encounter. These three dreams felt like the former. This odd assortment of unlikely spirit animals seemed like they had something important to convey.

From my brief “research,” peacocks are thought to be good omens and signs of abundance, confidence, and good fortune. It was a little harder to find an explanation for the mongoose, but from what I can find, they symbolize either preparing for a fight or adventure and courage. Alligators hold several potential meanings. They can represent the awakening of new instincts and future success. Taken together, I like to think that these unlikely assortment of spirit animals reflects my current path and state of mind. I am entering this new phase of adulthood with confidence, feeling abundant and grateful, embracing new adventures and successes, and growing into a better awareness and appreciation for the world around me. Since I started running again, consistently and with concrete goals, I have experienced positive changes in every aspect of my life. I am definitely healthier, which was the main goal. My mental health has improved. I feel more present. My confidence and sense of adventure is growing. It may seem a bit dramatic, but It feels like a running is a call I am finally answering, rather than just a means to an end.

(P.S. Skeptics may suggest I am overthinking something people do and have done for years. Well, this is not the blog for you.)

I started running again at a time when I needed to make changes for my physical and mental health. All I wanted to do was get into shape and cross off a bucket list item. Running feels like something I was always going to eventually do. Maybe, I have not been as successful in the past because I was not ready to embrace the transformations it would bring. Really committing to a hobby or project that I was not immediately good at, or may never be “good” at, has shifted my entire mindset. When I run, I forget the insecurities and fears that so often hold me back. For that hour, I am the best version of myself. That version of myself is beginning to appear in other areas of my life. I am pushing myself outside of my comfort zone more often. My insecurities and hesitancy to take risks are fading. I find myself feeling more confident and less self-conscious everywhere. I post gross, sweaty post-run pictures of myself in a Facebook group full of strangers; I am starting to seriously contemplate business ideas that I have been pushing aside; I sleep better; and I am writing this blog, sharing my thoughts and ideas with complete strangers without fear of judgement. And, the community of runners is incredible. I have learned so much and met so many wonderful people.

I hope I can continue channeling the energies of confidence, courage, and success of my new dream, animal friends. So that, even if or when, I move on from running, I can continue to reap the benefits of the changes it has inspired.