This will be relatively short. I am trying to get out of the house by noon for my Sunday long run. Today is 7 miles. I will let you know how it goes. Yesterday, I completed four miles in about 52 minutes. Not my best run, but fine for the mood I was in yesterday.
I sat down intending to write one story, but it isn’t quite coming. I can’t get into the flow of it. The funny thing is, it was the story of my run yesterday that I also could just not get into. Whatever writing block I am experiencing was the same “running block” (is that a thing?) I had yesterday. I am not sure how the words coming to me now really relate to marathon training. We will just go on this flow writing journey together.
“Come fire, come water, come karma, we are all in transition.”
Jejune Stars, Bright Eyes
Most people who know me know that I have song or song lyric for just about any situation. (Go ahead, try me in the comments.) Yesterday, while on a run I didn’t really feel like doing, a line from the song Jejune Stars by Bright Eyes got stuck in my head, and I have not been able to let it go. The line is, “Come fire, come water, come karma, we are all in transition.” This isn’t a literary criticism blog. We could spend a lot of time unpacking the lyrics (and it is a really great song), but in the moment of pushing through the 2nd mile so I could turn around and head back, I heard that lyric and my mind set just shifted. Almost in an instant. I was just like, “yes, come universe: bring it.” Some of the other lyrics touch on doubt and fear and our place in the universe. I don’t really know what I believe about the universe and our souls other than it is far more beautiful and complicated, but probably also simple, than we can comprehend. I don’t think there is one right faith or belief other than to love one another. Oh wow, this has really digressed from a blog post about my progress or running.
Getting back to whatever point I may be trying to make…In my moment of struggle yesterday, I just wanted to stop. I questioned whether the goal I set was not only achievable, but was it worth it? Was I worth it? Was I kidding myself to think I could make all of these changes in my life? For a moment, the answer was no. I was allowing the fear, doubt, and complacency sink in. I could have stopped and walked back to my car and driven home. However, transition and change are hard. Sometimes life and ideas flow, but other times, you have to do the work and push through the day. The work can suck. Running in January in the early morning is not my idea of a good time. I know somewhere deep down that this goal to run a marathon is tied to such much more than scratching off a bucket list item. It is about coming to and embracing the life I want and deserve. We all deserve to live our best, fullest lives, whatever that looks like for us. So come universe, bring the fire, water, and karma. I know I will arrive on the other side stronger. If you are on a journey, you will too. I am not sure that I can tie all of this up well, or if it even flowed. I will just conclude with embrace the challenge. Invite it in even, and add Jejune Stars to your playlist, you won’t regret it.
In Medias Race 
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