In Medias Race

When I started this project, I envisioned writing only about running and chronicling my progress. Well, I am only on my second post, and I am already veering way off track. So, before I get too far afield, here are my stats.

Sunday I jogged/ walked 10 miles around Lake Hefner with a time of 2:22:11. Not great, but not terrible either, especially considering where I started. My current 5K time is around 38 minutes. Tomorrow morning, I will try to get it in under 37 minutes, but we will see how I feel. In October and November, my early runs were mostly walks with periods of jogging. I slowly started increasing my jogging time. At first, I could barely go a 1/10 of a mile at a time. But unlike other attempts to become a better runner, I did not let this slow start discourage me. This is literally a marathon not a race: just like almost every other goal we try to accomplish. Instead of focusing on the end result and how hard it will be to get there, I keep reminding myself to take one day at a time and just be present and trust the process. I have to pause here and tell a little side story about the universe. One day, while having a moment of doubt and frustration a good friend reached out to me. She said that the phrase that had come to her for me was to “trust the process.” Later that day, in another book I was reading. the message was loudly and clearly the same, “trust the process.” Going forward, I will always remember this moment and remember to trust the process.

Each day I get better. I focus on that day’s results alone. I am slowly moving from mostly jogging to more and more full out running. I don’t look behind too much other than to acknowledge my progress, and I don’t look forward except to visualize how I will feel when it is all done. I treat each workout and run as its own victory. I know it is easier said than done, but I really believe when you get to this stage with anything in your life, everything becomes possible.

This mind set is not something that comes naturally to me at all. I often let my insecurities get the best of me, and I put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect and do things well immediately. It has taken me a long time to learn this, but most things I did well easily was either dumb luck or actually had a lot more effort and work poured into them than I realized. I have spent a lot of time in school and have learned a lot over my career, but the success I have had was a result of hard-work and perseverance far more than natural talent. To suggest otherwise actually diminishes all of the work I have done to get to this point. I didn’t understand that for a long time. I would shy away from or procrastinate on projects and ideas that were not easily attainable. I didn’t recognize that what success, personally and professionally, I have had has a foundation of hard work and effort. I was so busy looking forward that I failed to notice the journey. Even worse, I failed to enjoy the journey. Now, I am present in my journey and I recognize the work that needs to be done. The pressure and self-defeating perfectionism is (mostly) gone. I feel liberated and new. There is so much I can do that I will not be instantly be good at it. When you look at life from this perspective, the entire world is open, there is almost nothing you cannot try.

Once we realize that we don’t have to be super-talented or even above average at our pursuits, well anything can be possible. I am not the first person who has arrived at this revelation, but it is finally sinking in for me, and I hope it will for you too. Want to be a painter ? All you need is paint and something to paint with. Paint what is in your heart. It will be beautiful to you. Want to be a musician? Make music. Want to be a marathoner? All you have to do is finish the marathon. Want to be a writer? Write and publish that blog post even if your dearest friend of 20+ years is the only one who reads it. You committed your words to paper or screen, which makes you a writer. You have created or done something from the heart and that is all that really matters. Life is suddenly more fulfilling and interesting when you let go of limiting ideas and perfectionist tendencies.